what I believe part one

I believe life is mostly about learning and growing and becoming a better version of yourself.

I believe you can’t love other people well until you know how to love, nurture, and challenge yourself.

I believe the best way to help another person is by inspiring them with your example.

I believe it is unwise to try to help someone who hasn’t asked.

I believe that love is expressed in many ways… and it sometimes doesn’t feel like love.

I believe that some people “help” others selfishly. These are the fish givers, not the fishing teachers.

I believe that some people have learned to develop their character and drive and other people have not.

I believe that good decisions are generally rewarded and bad decisions tend to backfire.

I believe we tend to learn more from our bad decisions than our good decisions.

I believe happiness is mostly about understanding who we are and how to use our gifts.

I believe that we are all responsible to make ourselves happy.

I believe that if we are often unhappy, it is our own fault.

I believe that loss and pain and suffering are a part of life and shouldn’t be viewed as tragic.

I believe the easy road is usually the least fulfilling road.

I believe that the hard road is usually the most fulfilling road.

I believe that people who make unhealthy choices should feel pain.

I believe that people who make healthy choices should feel proud.

I believe that people who choose an unhealthy lifestyle should feel sick.

I believe that people who hurt themselves and others should be reminded what they are doing.

I believe that challenging another in a respectful way is helpful, not hurtful.

I believe that overcoming obstacles on your own builds character.

I believe tough love encourages independence and autonomy.

I believe that people are generally good.

I believe that we are all bad when we act from hurt, anger, or ignorance.

I believe that when we are angry, we don’t view the world clearly.

I believe that everything has a silver lining.

I believe that nothing is 100% good or 100% bad.

I believe that our lives will never be exactly the way we want them to be, so it’s a good idea to appreciate life today.

I believe that people who are generally happy and content know how to view their problems as opportunities.

I believe that people who are generally unhappy don’t.

I believe that as children of the earth, we should take care of it.

I believe that it is a stupid fish that pollutes its own tank.

I believe that, as adults, we should set good examples for the people around us – especially children.

I believe that offering encouragement to people who are struggling is better than trying to solve their problem for them.

I believe that by solving our own problems, we will inspire others to do the same.

I believe that trying to solve another person’s problem is being a fish giver.

I believe that if we encourage people to solve their own problems, we demonstrate our faith in their potential.

I believe that we, as adults, are responsible for ourselves.

I believe that we, as adults, are responsible to support and pay for ourselves.

I believe that people who expect other people to pay for them are ignorant or lazy.

I believe that all types of honest work are good and worthy of respect.

I believe that giving money to a beggar is unwise and encourages weakness and dependence.

I believe that building a business and hiring employees is more generous.

I believe that employees should feel grateful for the opportunity to work and support themselves with dignity.

I believe that we should search for a job where we can use our unique abilities.

I believe that money is stored energy.

I believe that money can be used in both wonderful and horrible ways.

I believe public parks are wonderful things.

I believe in the goodness of the rich property owners who donated their land to form most of them.

I believe that a walk through a park is much more enriching than a walk through a shopping mall.

I believe that shopping and acquiring “stuff” will not keep any of us satisfied for long.

I believe that happiness doesn’t come from having things.

I believe that happiness comes from using our gifts and feeling connected to friends and family.

I believe that getting along with others is sometimes hard, but it is worth it.

I believe that what we do when nobody is watching is who we really are.

I believe our actions define us.

on growth

I’ve been killing myself slowly the last 2 years. Not literally, just metaphorically. I’ve been killing off the parts of myself that were past their prime, the parts that had once felt new and interesting but have slowly grown stale. I think sometimes the enemy of my best self is my current self. Sometimes the enemy of a great life is a good life.

The idealistic artist is all but gone. A few trace remnants remain, I suppose; but mostly, I’ve removed him from my psyche. No more energy spent on creative pursuits with zero practical value, and no more unrealistic expectations as to the worth of my work. I’ve finally realized that my writing and photography are worthwhile not because of where they are seen or because of who owns them, but because they were simply engaging to create. Over the course of the last few years, I’ve slowly realized that the worth of my work has more to do with the enjoyment of the process than with the reception of the end product. It sounds like a fairly simple thing to realize, and I suppose I’ve been espousing this perspective for a long time, but lately, for some reason, the sentiment seems to finally have sunk in, and it feels strangely liberating.

The late night beer drinker is gone as well, and with him the dehydrated, foggy-headed morning loafer. Although part of this is simply a function of getting older and wanting to go to bed earlier, a bigger part of this particular personal exorcism has to do with the rebirth of the competitive athlete inside of me that has been sleeping and laying dormant for the last decade. While I’ve always liked watching sports, I had forgotten how much fun it is to get back into playing them. I don’t need to compete all the time. An occasional game of basketball or round of golf is enough, and my running has become second nature. Pushing myself, sweating, feeling sore and proud has never felt better, so much better than the headaches that inevitably follow a night of loud bands and beer drinking.

It’s interesting how embracing this particular athletic rebirth has begun to affect different and seemingly unrelated parts of my personality as well. As I’ve worked to become a better runner and a healthier athlete, I’ve found myself being drawn to different people and places. And, not surprisingly, the activities of the idealistic artist and the late night drinker have completely lost their mystique. The beautiful artsy woman and the fashionable social butterfly may still turn my head, but they don’t seem to hold my attention very long anymore. Neither does the intellectual bantor with the barstool authors-in-waiting who spend more time drinking and complaining than they do reading and writing.

Perhaps I’ve simply just completed a certain chapter of life and am beginning another. And, now I’m in the process of shedding one skin and exposing the next. It’s funny… I’m about to travel up to New York, Boston, and the Berkshire Mountains in Western Massachusetts, and I have very little interest in venturing into bars and clubs, and modern art museums. Instead, I plan to visit a few churches, a few libraries and bookstores, Walden Pond, a house that Poe lived in, and a well-preserved historic Shaker community. I’m also looking forward to going for a run in Central Park and to reading a book on a bench in Boston Common. Of course, re-connecting with good friends will be great as well.

I know I’ll enjoy the drive too. I suppose I’m a sucker for a good road trip, and there’s something especially rewarding about sleeping in the back of my truck in some random campground on the way. One of the things I love about camping is waking up in the morning. There is simply nothing better than breathing in some crisp fall air, stepping out into the woods, feeling a few leaves crunch under my feet, and realizing that summer is on it’s way out.

As autumn reminds us, sometimes a little death and decay is a good thing, something to embrace and find beautiful. I think that all endings aren’t necessarily bad. They create a temporary emptiness and a time to reflect on the next chapter of life…perhaps in my case the athlete philosopher chapter.